Me: Do you want me to bring something home for dinner tonight?

DG: I bought lunch meat at the store. We're having sandwiches for supper tonight.

Me: Do you know what I really want?

DG:

Me: Do you know what I really want for dinner? Want me to tell you?

DG: What...? What....? What do you really want for supper?

Me: Real bread. You know... the kind that is white and soft. You know real, soft, white bread.

DG: We don't eat that now. We eat wheat bread.

Me: And real Mayonnaise.

DG: We don't buy that anymore either. We buy low fat Mayonnaise.

Me: That's what I want. A nice ham sandwich with real bread and real Mayonnaise... Oh... and... a slice of real cheese.

DG: We have reduced fat lunch meat, 2% cheese, wheat bread and low fat Mayonnaise.That's what we're having for supper

Me: Okay.

I had an idea. Well... to tell the truth it was the continuation of someone else's idea. Brother Phillip sent me a link to a clip about a guy that decided one day to chicken fry some thick sliced bacon.

I know, I know, it sounds weird. I thought so too at first. Then I watched the video for the fourth time. Somewhere in there it started speaking to the Randy of my youth. The Randy that sat with his grand father every morning and ate three fried eggs. Not just any fried eggs. Let me tell you the breakfast story. Please remember that this story was repeated EVERY morning at Grandma and Grandpa Warrens house, company or not....

Breakfast was the big meal of the day.

Grandma is up a 5:00 am frying up a pound and a half of bacon. When the bacon is fried, it is placed   onto a platter. ( It was a Shawnee Corn King platter that looked like a giant ear of corn). Then Grandma would fry the eggs in the hot bacon grease. After the frying of the eggs, they were placed on another platter that was placed in the warm oven. The oven was warm because Grandma had pulled out a sheet of instant biscuits. I never did understand why she didn't make biscuits from scratch. I think it was because it didn't fit into the timing of the meal.

Eggs in the warm oven, bacon in the warm oven. Grandma would then mix up some home made gravy. She would combine some of the bacon grease with a stick of butter and flour to make a rue. Then she would add real milk. Do they still sell real milk... you know.... the kind that  would say 100% milk on the label.....

She would call everyone to the table and she would begin passing the food around. Three eggs, about a third of a pound of bacon, and biscuits and gravy for each person. When our plates were clean, Grandpa and I would "sop" up the remaining grease in the crevices of that giant corn platter with biscuit halves. When that was done, grandpa and I would each have a bowl of Nabisco Shredded Wheat with milk and a little salt.

He worked  hard all day at Shell Oil Company out in the oil and gas fields, or on broken engines at the plant, and I played hard all day in the barns and out in the fields. We both had a small sandwich for lunch, he from his lunch box while sitting on the tailgate of his pickup and me under a tree while grandma worked in her flowers. Then  about 6:00, we would all sit down to a light supper when grandpa got home from work.

I miss big breakfasts early in the morning with my grandpa.

So anyway.... I watch this guy chicken fry a thick slice of bacon and I think to myself... what we need here is a dipping sauce.....

After much thought, I have decided on three parts peanut butter, two parts grape jelly, and one part roasted habanero pepper (Seeded of course.... I'm not nuts) .  Oh.... and maybe a little Cajun Spice in the chicken fry batter.....

Now if only I knew a guy with a restaurant, a deep fryer  and the guts to mix the sauce up......

I wish I could have a big ole basket full with my grandpa.

I was outside with DG playing with the girls. We were chasing Jackie trying to get the football from her, she loves that game. We were trying to get them to do their business before the storm gets here. They don't believe they can get their feet wet so all business must be conducted prior to rain and or any watering of the lawn.

DG was encouraging the girls to run with sticks. Trixie had a stick about three feet long and was running across the yard slashing it in the air like a Klingon Batliff. I came back in the house because someone was going to lose an eye.  She'll be letting them run with scissors next.

It has been a while since I posted.... Sorry about that.

We have been very busy of late. Dad went on a short vacation. Well it was short by many peoples standards but for him it was historical. I don't think he has been away from work that long since he had his aorta replaced. Two weeks was a long time for him.

DG was a trooper and helped me out at the shop the entire time while still doing her job and medicating animals. I appreciated her help more than she knows. I have told her but I don't think she understands on how many levels she helps me.

And ..... (Where is that drum roll?) ..... I have officially registered as a candidate for Oklahoma House of Representatives, District 62 . It should be a very busy but exciting time in the Warren house.

I will attempt to post a record of this journey as it transpires. There are some other surprises waiting in the wings that I can't discuss right now.  All and all I believe that by the end of 2008 all the cards should be on the table and the picture will look very different for all of us.

I look forward to the future and I also look forward to sharing it with you, my friends, neighbors, family and readers.

Either I am really warped or ther...   crap never mind. I admit I'm warped. My being warped does not remove the burden of cultivating and maintaining a sense of humor from the rest of of the world. I'm a funny guy..... Kids are the worst. I guess I should say young adults are the worst. Heck little kids (and Adam Sandler) think everything is funny. They could laugh for hours about one well timed butt burp. I'm  talking about the youth that work at fast food establishments. Absolutely no sense of humor. People say how can they have a sense of humor when they spend their free time slinging greasy burgers and chicken lip strips.

And I say to that, those are exactly the people that should have a sense of humor. They are going to be stuck in that nasty job for an entire shift regardless of their state of mind. If they are all pissed off and whiney and snooty, the shift will seem like it lasts three days. If on the other hand they smile, laugh a little and actually attempt to interact with the customers, that same shift seems to fly by... I know of what I speak. I did my time washing pots and pans in a KFC when I was young. I remember it like it was yesterday. Up to my elbows in hot soapy water while large chunks of chicken fat slap rhythmically against the wall in front of me. Yes... once again caught in the middle of a chicken fat fight with no ammunition. All I could do was hunker down, make a small target and hope none got in my hair. (Yes, as DG just pointed out with what sounded like a laugh, I had hair then)

I tried to pick up some Mexican food from the new Mexican joint around the corner, but evidently an "OPEN" sign on the front door is more of a operational directive and not a statement concerning their acceptance of customers into the establishment. That translates to the sign on the door said OPEN but the door was locked. That will only happen one more time and they will be off the list. Not to mention I can't pronounce the name of the place. I just call it La Cucaracha, which now that I think about it translates to "the Cockroach". Not the most appetizing name for a restaurant now that I think about it..... but I digress.... I couldn't get in so I went to Popeyes Chicken.

I drove up to the little speaker/microphone thingy and ordered, "I would like three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy Baptist chicken strips." Now that was pretty dang clear in meaning and it was funny. Not blow snot out your nose funny, but it was funny, and not something they hear every day. Did I get a laugh? No. Did I get a snort? No. Did I even get a little bitty chortle? No. I got, "What?"

So, thinking that there must have been a squawkie speaker issue, I said it again. This time I get, "Sir, what kind of strips do you want?"

So I acquiesced and said, "I'll have three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy clothed chicken strips." Dead silence. More dead silence. Then I hear a slightly exasperated sounding voice say, "Do you mean breaded?"

Now not only have they hurt my feelings by not getting or pretending not to get the humor of my order, but they have now forced me to explain how wrong they are in the naming of their products. Do I mean breaded? ... "No... not unless the other choice is unbreaded. If one choice is naked then the other choice would be the opposite of naked... something like... oh I don't know.... clothed maybe. If one is breaded then the other would be unbreaded. You can't have it both ways. Learn that lesson right now and you will benefit in the long run, young lady. So what's it going to be breaded and unbreaded or naked and clothed."

"Sir, I have eight spicy strips three of them naked will there be anything else?"

And then the irony struck me for the first time. I have been to Popeyes Chicken many many times and this is the first time I noticed, the one thing that's not on the menu.

"Could I get a family size spinach?"

I win.

No spinach, no Wimpy burgers and not a drop of Olive Oil in the joint.

Why can't people keep their dogs in their yard or in their houses? Why don't they care enough about their pets to keep them safe. I was just driving home and saw a car in front of me swerve into my lane to avoid hitting a large dog that was lying hurt and probably dying. It looked about the size of a Pit Bull or Boxer. As I went passed, caught in traffic, I could hear it screaming in pain through my closed windows. I had no where or way to stop and render aid. I would have if there had been any way to stop and if there were somewhere I could have taken it for care at 9:15 at night. I don't even know if our animal welfare officers are on call at night. I am so tired of animals suffering because of the failure of the humans that are supposed to be responsible for them.

To the owner of the dog that died tonight on Gore Boulevard.... I hope that you learn the fate of your animal and I hope that you are saddened for the rest of your life by your failure to protect your animal. I hope that knowledge is enough of a burden on your heart that you never own another animal. That poor dog deserved better than you. Sometimes.... just for a second I wish that the irresponsible owners could suffer the fate of their neglected animals.

I guess I am just tired of lots of things...

(I will not be discussing any of the totally and completely gross and graphic aspects of this story so fear not and read on...)

The amount of stress carryover from Friday at "clock out time' to Monday at "clock in time" is directly proportional to the amount of POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS tape residing in your refuse dumpster. No tape in the trash on Monday morning and your all smiles, ready to start the week. Now, for the first and what I hope is the very last time in my life, I can tell you from personal experience that if there is tape in the trash like there was at my repair shop this Monday morning your stomach churns and you don't look forward to any of what lies before you on an otherwise beautiful morning.

Oh.... and there wasn't just a little tape in the trash.... it's a big honkin' wad of tape, after all Lawton's finest had taped off an entire quarter block at about 5:45pm on Friday evening in an effort to keep the possible crime scene as "sterile" as possible and to keep public back so that the Police and others could more easily perform their jobs.

Shortly after 5:15pm I had noticed a very strong odor while locking the rear door of the shop. I have smelled dead animals before (cows, large dogs and such) and knew immediately that something had died. I glanced out the back door before locking it but didn't see anything by the back door. I continued on with the nightly ritual of locking the rest of the building and setting the alarm all the while wondering what had died and where it might be.

As I walked to my truck I could still smell the odor, faintly but it was in the air and I was 200 feet downwind from the back door where the smell was the strongest. I decided that I couldn't leave without at least checking the garbage dumpster. I imagined that an animal had found it's way into the dumpster and couldn't get out. Or since the city is in a seemingly constant uproar about the garbage system another thought had occurred to me. It was possible that someone had thrown a dead animal in my dumpster to show their displeasure with one of my votes concerning the sanitation rules change.

I got in my truck and drove to the rear of the shop so I could examine the dumpster. I exited my vehicle and was immediately hit with a wave of stench. I tentatively opened the dumpster and peered inside. There was nothing there but some grass clippings someone had dumped. Next I walked to the north side of the door and looked into a box that holds steel for the scrap man and found nothing that could account for the smell. As I was about to give up and return to the truck I wondered to myself if an animal could have gotten into one of the cars on the lot and become trapped. I looked toward the lot and noticed something in the front passengers seat of a BMW facing the alley where I was standing.

If this had been a movie I would have heard that music they play when a body that was hidden suddenly springs into view when it is hit with the beam of a flashlight. I saw what looked like a body. It was slumped to one side and it looked like it had been there for a long time. It was very surreal. The first thing I thought was, "Well it looks like a decomposed body but I know that's not what it really is."

My mind instantly rejected the possibility that it could be a real body. I had a flash of a scarecrow that my brother had stored at the shop. It had clothes and all. That must be what it is. Someone put that scarecrow in the car to try and scare me. See... I had for that instant forgotten the putrid odor that was surrounding me. Then just as quickly my mind allowed the smell back in and I knew it wasn't a scarecrow.

I dialed 911. The dispatcher that I talked to was very calm and professional. I think it was a he, I think I was calm, but I can't say for sure. Something weird happens when you're suddenly confronted with something as foreign as a decomposed body. I can imagine it is the same thing that happens to people who are victims of violent crimes. If it's the same, I don't know how a victim ever remembers anything in enough chronological order to testify. I wasn't in fear of my life or defending myself or being assaulted and I couldn't remember the order of events in any way that even remotely matched reality. At some point my brother called wanting dad's cell phone number and I was talking to him while part of it transpired, but I have no idea when it happened. Hey... I'll call Brother Phil.

Okay, I just called Brother Phil and he says that he called me about 5:25 and he asked me what I was doing and I said I was looking for a dead cat or something that was stinking up the place, and that with my luck I would find a dead body. This was followed within a few seconds by me saying to Brother Phil, "Holy #$%&! It is a dead body!" I told him I needed to go so I could call 911 and then hung up. Until I just talked to him, I had no memory of that entire part of the conversation. I just checked my phone and it shows I called 911 at 5:27pm. 

After notifying the Police I called Dream Girl at 5:28pm but only connected with her voice mail. I didn't know what the next hours held but I wanted to let her know not to worry so I left her the following message, "Hello... I don't know when I will be getting home I found a dead body in one of the cars on the lot." It's not verbatim, but it's close enough. She hates when I leave messages.

Shortly after leaving DG the message the sirens started and Police started arriving from points unknown. They secured the area and began putting the yellow tape in place. They verified that the individual was indeed very dead and radioed in that there would be no need for Rescue or an ambulance but they would be needing the CSI or as they are called in Lawton, Forensic Investigator.

The investigator arrived and began the process of photographing the scene, measuring, and the mandatory  filling of blanks with words and numbers. The investigator then called the Medical Examiners office and they said that they would send a representative. Different members of the PD came and went as the sun began to set behind the buildings.

The ME arrived and began the process of searching the body for clues to the cause of death. After a very extensive search, he said that it did not appear that the body had suffered any trauma that would indicate that death was caused by anything other than natural causes. He searched the vehicle and found many articles of clothing and a large comforter that I do not remember being in the vehicle and are not consistent with items that the owner would have allowed to collect in his car. It appeared to me that the deceased woman may have been sleeping in the car at night and storing her belongings there in the daytime. We never saw anyone around as we have in other places we have been located. We have in the past always had "regular" homeless that try to sleep in or around the building but not in this location.

The men from the mortuary arrived and the ME helped them remove her body from the car and load it onto the gurney and load it in their vehicle. They had a can of glade in their SUV but I promise you that it would not begin to touch this smell. They are dedicated people.

I was most appreciative of the actions of all the individuals involved. These people who are so very good at their jobs.  Their professionalism made this experience much less traumatic than it could have been. I have pretty thick skin. It really didn't bother me much. I can only imagine how stressful, nerve racking and shocking it would have been if I were one of those individuals that are prone to anxiety attacks and such. These men and women are all to be commended for the jobs they do. They do the things that none of the rest of us want to be bothered with and they do it on a daily basis.

Every single person involved in this ordeal conducted themselves in a professional and respectful manner, from the first person I spoke with at 911, all the police officers and their supervisors on the scene, to the newspaper reporter and photographer, Investigator, Medical Examiner and the men from the funeral home. These individuals truly do have a thankless job. No amount of money can adequately compensate them for the service they perform for the public.

Now for the preachy part................

The one thing that strikes me about this event is how sad it is that we have come to a place where someone's wife, mom, sister, aunt, niece or cousin died alone in a car in a dark parking lot because our society quit caring about those less fortunate. There was a time when families stuck together and took care of their own, then when the families gave up there was even a time when government run facilities that cared for the lost, the mentally challenged or those people that were just a little down on their luck. Not any more, the government keeps cutting the programs that care for these individuals.

There are still those that spend their every waking hour caring for these causalities of the system. There is one lady I can think of in Lawton that has dedicated her life to caring for the less fortunate. Her name is Betty and I so wish I could help her more than we currently do in the City's budget. Every year she is expected to do more with less. Soon she will be expected to do everything with nothing.

How much did society spend on that warm May evening for Policemen, Investigators, Examiners, Dispatchers, Morticians and yellow tape? What would it have cost for one more cot in one more dorm room and a few hot meals?

Something has to change.

I will fill in the blanks tomorrow and include some links to the newspaper and TV stories ....

This should be enough for now......

My Parking Lot

Yellow Crime Scene Tape

Charts

Graphs

Police Officers

Forensics Investigator

Medical Examiner

Unidentified Decomposed Body

(Cross posted from Where We Masticated Today)

  The best restaurant, I’ve never been to!

We actually have several very good Korean restaurants in town. I’ve never been inside this one, I’ve only eaten take-out from here. It is close to our house and the food has always arrived warm and delicious. They make one of the best, if not the best Bulgogi in town, both beef and spicy pork. The same can be said for their Fried Mandoo (dumplings). I also enjoy their Bibim Bab which is rice with assorted vegetables, Bulgogi, and a fried egg on top, served with Korean red pepper paste.

Posted by Okie Sister

My review will be more about customer service than about the food. I agree with DG's (Okie Sister) review above as far  as the quality and taste of the food served. What I want to talk about is the "Customer Care" that they employ during your visit. As I waited for our food to be prepared one evening the young lady that was filling our containers with all the wonderful sides of steamed white rice, Ssaengchae, Kimchi (cabbage, cucumber and radish) and many others, struck up a conversation with me and we chatted and laughed for quite some time. As I was leaving she said, "You come back again. You funny man." Okay... I'm sold on this place...

Now, I'm sure she used the word "funny" in a "probably needs therapy" kind of way and not in a "funny, ha ha" way, but she could see right through me to my inner self. I think I am funny. I want to be funny. I want DG to think I am funny but as hard as I try she just thinks I'm "not quite right".  So this lady sees my inner need and fills it. Why? Because she knows that if I think, she thinks I'm funny there is a good chance I will pick up food there much more often... Or maybe she doesn't even speak English and she is simply commenting on my looks....

The last time I picked up supper at Yummy Yummy, after choosing non-spicy sides for DG's plate I began picking out sides for my plate, and to make it easier on her I told her to just give me all the spicy sides. She said, "Ahhhh, you like hot and spicy.... you hot daddy".

When I leave there (and I do hate to leave), I have such a wonderful sense of self worth.

I may start picking up Korean every night.  Soon she will complement me on my awesome ripped abs and my  luxuriously thick and ample hair, I just know it.

She should teach a class.

Posted By Randy

Yummy Yummy Korean BBQ

Yummy Yummy Korean BBQ

6508 NW Cache Rd

Lawton, OK 73505

Phone: 580-536-7773 or 580-536-7775

Hours: Mon-Sat 10:30am- 9:00pm

Delivery available