Either I am really warped or ther...   crap never mind. I admit I'm warped. My being warped does not remove the burden of cultivating and maintaining a sense of humor from the rest of of the world. I'm a funny guy..... Kids are the worst. I guess I should say young adults are the worst. Heck little kids (and Adam Sandler) think everything is funny. They could laugh for hours about one well timed butt burp. I'm  talking about the youth that work at fast food establishments. Absolutely no sense of humor. People say how can they have a sense of humor when they spend their free time slinging greasy burgers and chicken lip strips.

And I say to that, those are exactly the people that should have a sense of humor. They are going to be stuck in that nasty job for an entire shift regardless of their state of mind. If they are all pissed off and whiney and snooty, the shift will seem like it lasts three days. If on the other hand they smile, laugh a little and actually attempt to interact with the customers, that same shift seems to fly by... I know of what I speak. I did my time washing pots and pans in a KFC when I was young. I remember it like it was yesterday. Up to my elbows in hot soapy water while large chunks of chicken fat slap rhythmically against the wall in front of me. Yes... once again caught in the middle of a chicken fat fight with no ammunition. All I could do was hunker down, make a small target and hope none got in my hair. (Yes, as DG just pointed out with what sounded like a laugh, I had hair then)

I tried to pick up some Mexican food from the new Mexican joint around the corner, but evidently an "OPEN" sign on the front door is more of a operational directive and not a statement concerning their acceptance of customers into the establishment. That translates to the sign on the door said OPEN but the door was locked. That will only happen one more time and they will be off the list. Not to mention I can't pronounce the name of the place. I just call it La Cucaracha, which now that I think about it translates to "the Cockroach". Not the most appetizing name for a restaurant now that I think about it..... but I digress.... I couldn't get in so I went to Popeyes Chicken.

I drove up to the little speaker/microphone thingy and ordered, "I would like three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy Baptist chicken strips." Now that was pretty dang clear in meaning and it was funny. Not blow snot out your nose funny, but it was funny, and not something they hear every day. Did I get a laugh? No. Did I get a snort? No. Did I even get a little bitty chortle? No. I got, "What?"

So, thinking that there must have been a squawkie speaker issue, I said it again. This time I get, "Sir, what kind of strips do you want?"

So I acquiesced and said, "I'll have three spicy naked chicken strips and five spicy clothed chicken strips." Dead silence. More dead silence. Then I hear a slightly exasperated sounding voice say, "Do you mean breaded?"

Now not only have they hurt my feelings by not getting or pretending not to get the humor of my order, but they have now forced me to explain how wrong they are in the naming of their products. Do I mean breaded? ... "No... not unless the other choice is unbreaded. If one choice is naked then the other choice would be the opposite of naked... something like... oh I don't know.... clothed maybe. If one is breaded then the other would be unbreaded. You can't have it both ways. Learn that lesson right now and you will benefit in the long run, young lady. So what's it going to be breaded and unbreaded or naked and clothed."

"Sir, I have eight spicy strips three of them naked will there be anything else?"

And then the irony struck me for the first time. I have been to Popeyes Chicken many many times and this is the first time I noticed, the one thing that's not on the menu.

"Could I get a family size spinach?"

I win.

No spinach, no Wimpy burgers and not a drop of Olive Oil in the joint.