(On the phone with Dream Girl)

Me: Hey, what are you doing?

Dream Girl: I just left Country Mart with everything on my list, except one thing.

Me: What are you missing? I’ll pick it up on this side of town on my way home.

Dream Girl: Ground Cardamom

Me: Ground Cardigan

Dream Girl: No.. that’s the sweater… like Mister Rogers wore. I need Ground Cardamom. It’s a spice.

Me: Okay I can remember it because it’s like the sweater and it’s cold. Got it.

Dream Girl: It’s not like the sweater. It is a spice like Cumin. But I don’t what you to have to go to Hell Mart this close to Christmas.

Me: Not a problem, I stop by the Country Mart on this side of town. No problem… Mexican sweater… I can remember that.

Dream Girl: Okay, but if they don’t have it don’t go to Hell Mart. Stop at the gourmet store by Lawton High, they might have some. And it is not a Mexican sweater it’s a Cardigan Sweater. A Mexican sweater would be like a poncho blanket.

Me: Whatever… I’m just trying to remember the name.

Dream Girl: Ground Cardamom

Me: Got it Got it Got it…. Okay

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They didn’t have any at Country Mart, at least not spelled the way I thought you would spell it. So it is off to the gourmet shop.

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Sitting in the parking lot at the gourmet shop.

Crap… what was it called…? It starts with a C and it is not a sweater. 

I dial cell phone….

Me: What’s it called again?

Dream Girl: What’s what called?

Me: The poncho stuff.

Dream Girl: It’s Cardamom… C – A – R – D – A – M – O – M

Me: Like if you want to know if lady with a baby is old enough to buy beer?

Dream Girl: What?

Me: C – A – R – D – A – M – O – M

Dream Girl: Right! Where are you?

Me: In the parking lot of the gourmet shop locking my truck and holding my hat on because the wind is blowing.

Dream Girl: Did they have it?

Me: No.. I’m just now going in!

Dream Girl: Okay fine….

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Gourmet Lady: How may I help you sir?

Me: If I were Ground Cadmium where in this fully equipped gourmet shop would I live?

Gourmet Lady: Excuse me?

Me: Cadmium… Where is your Ground Cadmium?

Gourmet Lady: Sir I think those are batteries, like for a camera.

Me: Your right Nickel-Cadmium batteries. But that’s not what I want. I need a spice. It starts with a C and it’s like a poncho sweater. A poncho sweater like Mister Rogers wore.

Gourmet Lady: Ohhhhh … You mean a Cardigan. You want Ground Cardamom.

Me: Man, you’re good. Yes… I need Ground Cardamom.

Gourmet Lady: How much do you want?

Me: How much does it take?

Gourmet Lady: How much does it take to make what?

Me: Damn……