I was just sitting here thinking about the fact that I have not seen a "new" movie in probably three years ....  and the reasons are numerous..... We can start with the story of "My" television...(fade to poor urchin child begging for coins on a dirty, pub filled street and zoom to a close up of a dirty, tattered and dog-eared brochure for a Mitsubishi WD-65735 65" DLP HDTV in his back pocket.)

I have written of my TV before or at least my desirous intent to get a new viewable one. I say viewable because currently I have an OLD 50" projection set. The bulbs have dimmed to the point that scenes filmed at night are like listening to the serials on the radio back in the 30's. Except for the part where I am about 60% deaf.

And then to top it off, if Dream Girl is in the den writing or something she has the light on which renders even the portions of programing filmed in the daytime useless. They appear as dim washed out ghosts running across the screen. So in reality it is just me sitting as close to the empty screen as possible, hoping to feel some vibration from the audio portion of the show. This would be why the slip cover is always riding up on the seat of the couch. I have to sit as close to the TV as possible so that I can feel what is going on. In order to get the volume up to where a person can get some good indication of what is going on through vibration and that 40% of hearing that remains it becomes annoying to those around me. At least it is annoying to Dream Girl, I have never heard the dogs complain....

In order to keep order in the house and stability in our marriage I bought some cordless headphones for the TV. They work great. I can crank them as high as I need and the others in house have their peace and quiet. I can move back a little from the TV and it doesn't look like I am hugging the set just so I can find out if Doctors House and Cutty are going to kiss... I can only move back a little though because of the dim bulb issue but at least now I can hear what's going on...

Well, I could hear until I realized that with the headphones on I can't hear Dream Girl when she starts talking to me while I am watching Dexter. Apparently it is annoying having an entire (one way) conversation with someone only to find out that he hasn't heard a word you have said. It might even cause that person to toss an object at the non-listener's head at about the same time that Dexter is stabbing Jimmy Smits in the chest, thus causing him (the non-listener not Jimmy) to wet himself a little.

She is mean like that.... she doesn't look it... but she is....

Next I will tell the story of how Dream Girl single handedly prevented me from ever again seeing new movies at the actual movie theater where they have double butter popcorn in a giant box the size of a Mini Cooper and Junior Mints in a box so big it won't fit in your pocket AND she made a little boy cry at the same time all in the name of Star Trek.